Happy Holidays

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

I know I am late with the Christmas wishes but better late then never ;)

Things have been pretty busy and stressful around here (as is our normal December routine), there is lots to catch you up on and share and I will do so in the new year.

I am extremely behind on MV's monthly updates, I realized I never posted his 9 month and just days ago he turned 10 months! I am going to combine them rather than post separately (and so late).

But for now I will leave you with some holiday pictures and I promise I will be back shorty and resume a more regular blogging routine.

Update

Let me start by saying thank you for the kind words and support on my last post. It really means a lot. This has been an extremely tough week for us.

I wanted to give a quick update and then I probably will disappear for a few days again. I am not in the mood to go ahead with my originally planned posts so for now they will just have to wait.

So last Thursday morning I went ahead and called the vets to make arrangements for the dog. It turns out there's some law (or bi law?) that you have to wait 10 days to monitor for rabies after a dog bites someone. So our dog is still here, and now there's a chance she may stay. As MV has stabilized and the emotions calm down hubby has decided he wants to keep the dog because he feels the situation was preventable and will not happen again. It's an extremely conflicting issue that I think if it's going to be explained will warrant its own post so I'll leave it for now. The lady comes Friday morning to check the dog and give us the go ahead should we decide to take any action.

Last Friday morning MV woke and was burning up, I gave him some Advil and eventually we ended up down in emerg. The doctor on staff decided he must be fighting off a cold and decided the wounds looked good so home we went.
Saturday MV was extra fussy and generally not himself all day, around dinner puss started draining from one of the wouds so we got in the car and back to emerg again. This time we were admitted and after 6 rounds of intravenous antibiotics we were sent home mid day Monday. He had been prescribed oral antibiotics after the bite happened but apparently they taste horrible and he was spitting, gagging and puking it up. We are now back on those gross meds and I pretty much have to sit on him and pin him down to get them in him. I feel awful doing it but I don't want to end up back in the hospital. Tomorrow is his follow up and most likely they will be removing the stitches. I'm so nervous but excited to be another step closer to being healed.

As for myself I am doing alright depending on the moment. I've had mini panic attacks, and nightmares. I feel afraid that something is going to happen. Most of the time I am fine tho.

MV is unphased by it all. He doesn't even realize the dog bit him. He gets upset that I keep them separated. My defiant child will run/crawl over to the gate that separates him from the dog every chance he gets.

At least he's not scared.

I will be back, again thank you for the support. I hope to get back to reading all the blog posts I've missed and will keep you posted oxo

Warning long :'(

I want to start by apologizing for my absence, MV has been sick and barely sleeping. As a result hubby and I have been sick and barely sleeping.

Despite my sleep deprivation I felt I needed to write this morning. I'm not sure if I will find the right words to express how I am feeling but I needed to try. My brain is overwhelmed, and confused; struggling between blocking out yesterday and trying to clearly remember. I'm angry and sad, and scared, really scared. My heart feels like its ripping in half while its lodged in my throat. Tears have been pouring down my face for hours.
This should be easy, no doubt or hesitation, if you've never been in this situation you would think the decision was obvious. I know I felt that way before.
But now in the moment of it all my heart is breaking, the guilt inside is unbearable and I can't help but think of all the ways this could have been prevented. Can't help but feel responsible, like its my fault.

My dog, my amazing loving loyal dog is laying by my feet as I sit rocking in MV's room. She assumes this position almost every time I sit here. She loves him do much, I know that. She has since he was born. Always so attentive to him whenever he cries, she has become my back up when he is inconsolable I just call her near and MVs face will light up, he stops crying.

MV love her too. So much this hurts even more, and makes me feel I've let him down. I keep picturing them playing together, him giggling away as he "sneaks" her treats and shares his good. Or how he smiles real big and leans into her when he wants her to lick his face. I feel like he is losing his best friend, I really truly believe that. At only 9 months old I'm sure he will move on quickly, forget her even. Dear god I hope he does because the sight of him looking for her, or the sound he makes when he is calling to her will kill me every time.

I rescued Daisy from the shelter, at just over a year old I was her third owner. Her hound instinct had brought her there, as she kept running away and previous owners had enough. The bond I felt with her was instant, she was my dog, meant for me to find her. Those first few years I had her were tough years for me. I had flunked out of my first year of college, living in a new city away from family and friends. My anxiety was out of control, on the verge of depression and she helped me thru it all. She made me feel safe, she gave me a purpose and without her I don't even want to think of where I would have ended up. And when I started having concerns with my epilepsy, she amazed me again. Her intuition and responsiveness to me before I even could realize what was happening to my body was comforting. She made me feel safe.

She has never been good with other dogs, I'm not sure if anything happened before I found her but I know afterwards I witnessed her get attacked more than once. This as inconvenient as it was, it was ok we managed. I did whatever I could to protect her.

I keep looking at the clock. It's almost 7:00am, in an hour our vets office will open and I will be calling them. Making arrangements to say goodbye to my dog. It hurts so much to think about it, to hit the keys as I type those words. Goodbye.
I have no choice. As much as I love her, as much as I need her, I have to say goodbye to my "first baby". She's like a child to me, she's only a dog but it hurts so much.

She's ten years old now, her hips are bad and she's uncomfortable and in pain every day. So much pain that she has become much more fragile than her petite 26 pound frame already was. She is not strong enough to withstand the physical impact of a 22 pound baby's love. MV has hurt her before, on two previous occasions he has put too much weight onto her fragile hips. She's warned him. Nips at the air in front of his face, and even a low growl. Because of this we are careful, we try to make sure MV does not hurt her and don't let him touch her back side. But last night I wasn't as careful, I wasn't paying attention as the two played at my feet. I'll regret it forever, the memory will be burned into my mind. It happened all too fast but slow motion all at the same time as I watched MV raise to his knees and with both hands reach for the dogs back end. I never thought she would ever hurt him. She loves him so much. In a second it was over, my hands reached out to stop MV but it was too late.

We rushed to the hospital, everyone crying hysterically. There were three open areas on the right side of MV's face. A small slice above his eye brow, a puncture mark near his cheekbone and a gaping open gash on his chubby cheek.

He has 4 or 5 stitches on his cheek between those two spots and is going to be fine. He starts antibiotics today to hopefully prevent any infection.

Daisy knows she hurt him, I feel like she's been trying to say sorry all night. But it's too late, It happened and I can't risk I happening again.

I feel like there's so much else I need to write but my brain has shut off. I can't even proof read this.

MV's Stache

Wordless Wednesday ;)

Projectile ...

Vomit.

Disgusting and horrifying vomit.

I think MV may be allergic to bananas. There have been two occasions where hours after eating bananas he violently projectile vomits. I have been with him whenever it's happened which is good because he was laying on his back and after shooting straight up it comes back and chokes him.
It's terrifying.

It's been a few months since he's had banana so today I gave him a few pieces of my banana bread, not much just a little for taste. I thought we were in the clear but once again it happened. Again I was with him (I was rocking him to sleep and was covered eww), this time he clearly was chocking on it as it was coming up and was struggling to breath. I honestly thought I was going to have to call for help, luckily he spewed what looked like bucket loads and regained his composure after having a good little cry (which broke my heart he was so upset). 15 minutes afterwards he was playing with his toys but still looking a little green in the face, by the time 30 minutes had passed he was laughing and completely normal.
Me not so much.

I have never felt so helpless, I couldn't do anything in that moment to help and of course like any crisis it's all slow motion so plenty of time for panic.

It must be the banana, but what I don't understand is why is it do delayed. It happens 6-8 hours later each time. Aside from the banana bread he did try mango today so that will no be put aside for a while. No new foods here for the rest of the week I guess, and I should probably call my doctor.

I'm still nervous, nervous he will be sick in his crib tonight and I won't be there. So I'm considering sleeping on his floor, hubby does not want him in our bed anymore and I don't think I can leave him alone.

Whatever this is I really hope he outgrows it, I know firsthand how much a food allergy sucks and I really don't want that for MV :(

Oh ya and as of today he is now 9 months! I will post his update tomorrow, hopefully it will be a less eventful day.

Happy Monday everyone

Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

I am very excited for my very first Christmas. My mommy and daddy told me you would bring me presents if I am a good boy. Sometimes I do things my mommy tells me not too, I think it's funny, but I try to be good most of the time. They tell me you like milk and cookies, so I will make sure we leave plenty of snacks since I'm sure you will be hungry.

I made you a list Santa, that way you will know what I want for Christmas.
If you could bring me a few of these things I would be so happy!

Your friend,
MV

We passed!

MV had his final swim lesson as a Starfish today! I can't believe a month of lessons has gone by so quick! My little man is now ready to be a duck :)

We will take a month off, December is way too busy to commit to lessons and resume either January or February.

To celebrate the teacher turned on the fountain in the kiddie pool (we warm up and play in the kiddie pool at the end of each lesson). MV was frightened but his buddies R and N loved it!

I want a ball pitt, and trucks, and....

Today we braved the mall and took MV to see Santa for the first time :) I was soo nervous that MV would cry and we would shamefully be getting our money back after a failed attempt at a picture but all went well! No smiles but no crying or trying to escape from Santa's lap either.
And afterwards in the grocery store MV was smiling and pointing at the giant mug shots of Santa that were hanging from the ceiling :).

On a side note, I don't know how people do the black Friday shopping in the states, our mall was crazy packed today and I couldn't stand it. Most the stores around town and in the mall had sales to try and keep people shopping here instead of hoping the border. We actually got a great deal on a giant baby gate (one gate down only one more to go!) :)

Nap cuddles

There are dishes in the sink,
Toys all over the floor,
Laundry is ready for the dryer,
and crumbs on the floor.

So many things I should be doing right now but all I want to do is sit here and cherish this moment. <3 There are less and less of these moments these days.

I can't believe this little guy will be 9 months in a couple days :( this year is going by so fast.

Lefty?

I'm not sure at what age babies/children show hand dominance but I've been thinking for a while that MV might be a lefty.

We're sitting here enjoying some post dinner Cheerios and he's eaten all but one with his left hand. Now that he's doing finger foods I'm noticing more and more how frequent he uses his left. When he does use his right he is not nearly a coordinated.

Hubby and I are both right handed so we shall see :)

Oh and on a side note yesterday MV figured out how to master the 90 degree turn in our stair case and climbed all the way to the top!

I'm seriously in trouble now

Our first week

I've been meaning to post for a few days now, but I'm just so tired.

This may be a scattered and random post, it's 5am for some reason MV thinks its a good time to wake up.

So we survived our first week, just MV and I. In a few ways I think this was much more challenging now that he's older. That caught me a little by surprise.

I was not as productive as I had hoped but I did manage a few tasks off my list, my house however is a mess. Aside from the bed incident we survived bump free.

Hubby's mood is a little better now too, he is still a little worried about a lay off but they seem to like him enough to offer him overtime. He'll be working 6 days a week until Christmas which is 2 weeks pay per week :) we would be caught up and back on track in no time.

My mood still sucks, But I'm suspecting a certain someone may be finally making her return into my life, it's been a nice 18 months without her ;)

Oh and it's frustrating to be without a car again. I think it's making me a little stir crazy to not have the option to just get up and go. I plan on taking hubby to work today so I can get things done and get out.

And speaking of taking him to work, I hear hubby up and about so I guess it's time for me to get out of this rocking chair and start our day. I'm thinking a nap is on our agenda later, fingers crossed MV approves of that plan.

Hope everyone had a great week/ weekend :)

Horrible

Today MV fell head first off my bed.
My giant king sized sleigh bed.
...

He seems to be fine, just a bump.
...

I can't even put in words how I'm feeling today.
...

Wordless Wednesday

...

Mondays...

How can you hate Mondays when you don't even work? lol
Today was a pretty "blah" kinda day, for no particular reason really.

Now tomorrow, tomorrow will be completely different. I have been looking forward to tomorrow since Friday. Never have I wanted a weekend to end so quickly. The reason is Hubby is FINALLY going back to work! I can't wait to have him out of the house! I can wake up and do whatever I want, my own schedule, my routine.

I have high hopes for tomorrow, and hopefully MV will cooperate but I plan on doing a major clean sweep. Have you ever tried to clean when someone is sitting on the couch in front of you? Or moving around room to room just as you want to do something in that room. Our house really is not that big and even with the three floors we practically were tripping on each other.

And he is working here in town. Bonus. Friday morning we were very stressed because it was looking like he would be packing for Edmonton this week since work here has been scarce but a few hours after deciding he needed to go we got the call. Even though I'm ready to have him out of the house I am not ready to play single mom while he's out West working.

So today has sorta just been about waiting for tomorrow.

Fingers crossed its as good as I'm hoping :)


ps hope everyone had a great weekend!

Starfish

Last week MV started his swim lessons :) He is a starfish!

He goes every Tuesday and Saturday until the end of the month. He loved the pool in the summer so we wanted to keep him comfortable with the water, plus he is in the class with his cousin and their friend so it's great social time (and it's free because hubby's uncle owns the gym)

This Saturday I am going to bring my good camera but here are a couple pictures hubby took with his phone :)

A Yes Parent

Now that MV is officially mobile he is getting into everything. Full on discovery mode is happening here, my kid is full of curiosity.

Hubby and I really do not want MV to turn into one of those toddlers whose favourite word is No, so we're trying hard not to say it...

Now of course we don't allow him to do just anything he wants, but within reason he is free to explore and when it's time to discourage something he is given an explanation ie "that is dirty don't put it in your mouth".

I know some other parents might be laughing right now, maybe even shaking their heads at this foolish first time mom; but so far this IS working. If said in the right tone MV will stop what he's doing... either that or get a devilish grin on his face and do it again which leads to said object being taken or him relocated.

My theory is this. I want him to be curious, to explore, problem solve, discover his surroundings and encourage learning.

I also want to encourage language development. Recently we were in the company of friends and family who each have an almost 2 year old child. These kids were actually only a week apart in age but it was amazing the difference in the language development and overall maturity for lack of a better word. The one spoke simple words like "no" and "ma" and "up" where as the other one spoke almost sentences. I noticed the difference in the way the parents each spoke to their child and I really think that has a lot to do with it. The one who spoke more fluently was spoken to by his parents in full sentences, and not in baby talk or simple commands. Hence our approach was influenced by this.

Have you seen this blog? Play at Home Mom; I found it when looking for resources for a friend and fell in love. The whole blog is about learning through play and discovery, encouraging independent thinking in your child. There are so many awesome ideas on how to encourage learning and imagination in your child.

Anyways, there are some days when saying no is needed but we are really trying hard to avoid it. I have already received some skeptical "good luck with that" responses from people about this, but I figure he's my first child and your supposed to learn with them right? ;) lol

Harder than I thought.

This parenting thing is difficult.
Much more difficult than I ever thought it would be. Sometimes I feel like I was completely unprepared.

Sometimes I worry if how I'm feeling is normal, if I'm the only one to deal with this life. Every now and then someone validates my feelings and tells me how they feel or felt the same. It's nice to hear that, nice to know its not only you.

When I was pregnant I had this vision of what it would be like to have a baby. I imagined having a perfect, well kept, organized house. Plenty of time to do crafts, and take tons of photographs of my baby most of which would be inspired by my pinterest finds. Of course dinner would be made ever night and our life would be full of nothing but rainbows and unicorns.
Of course in this dream world I would also look fabulous because I would drop the baby weight quickly and buy a chic and stylish new wardrobe. We would be oh so happy.

Ok reality check time...

I spent the first 6 months postpartum covered in baby puke.
I've lost too much weight to wear my maternity clothes but not near enough to wear my regular clothes.
I feel like a slob, My self image is crap. And buying a stylish new wardrobe is out of the question while on maternity leave.
My baby cries and whines a lot. He's very happy but also very emotional in general.
He relies on me for everything. Duh obviously right? Ya I knew this but I didn't anticipate how mentally exhausting it would be to be relied on like this. Sometimes I need/want a break.
I'm probably more emotional and easier to anger now than while pregnant. My hormones are out of control and my hair is still falling out.
I am ashamed and disappointed in my lack of photographs of my child.
I don't have any spare time. What you might consider spare time is usually taken by my own need to nap. No matter how much I nap I am still tired.
It's surprising how well I can function on so little sleep. It's even more surprising when all of a sudden my body realizes its exhausted and can no longer function properly.
I cook dinner maybe twice a week. The rest of the week we eat cereal, or left overs, or pancakes etc.
My marriage is strained, and at moments at risk of failing. I struggle daily with finding the balance of my roles as mother and wife.

I'm jealous of moms who have "easy" babies, moms who somehow have a life.

So that's how it is. Don't get me wrong I love my baby, my husband, my life. I just wanted to be honest and put that out there because I know that the few honest posts like this have really helped me feel better on those tougher days.

oxo

Just do what works

Yesterday MV and I went to Ottawa to visit my moms family. Hubby has been sick so we hitched a ride with my brother who was driving home from Toronto, we just had him pick us up on his way.

We don't visit too often as it makes for a long day since we always drive there and back in the same day. Most visits we spend more time traveling than visiting.

Yesterday we actually were there for a nice long stretch of time. MV was fairly well behaved, slightly tired and fussy. There were bucket loads of drool coming out of his mouth, quite obvious he was teething.

Despite this I attempted to feed him solids (he doesn't like to eat when his teeth hurt). We happened to be sitting beside my youngest uncle and his wife (my uncle is only six years older than me and his wife only two), they have two young children aged three and two so we were discussing child related things. I was mentioning MV's general disliking for eating solids and told them I feed him most successfully while he is in his exersaucer and said that I don't really know if that's the right thing to do.

Their response was the best and most simple piece of advice or encouragement I have received yet.

"there is no right thing, just do what works"

It was sincere, and empathetic and just the reassurance I needed.

Too big

I posted this on instagram last week but forgot to post here ....

On the left is the sleeper he wears now at 8 months (size 12m) and the right is a sleeper he fit in when he came home from the hospital.

My baby is growing way too fast :(

Happy Halloween!

I hope everyone had a safe and fun Halloween :)

MV has been wearing all his Halloween theme clothes the past couple weeks, and I meant to take pictures but forgot a couple. I'm going to have to dress him up to get those shots ;)

MV had two costumes this year. He was a lion for the Halloween party he went to. And a puppy for trick or treating :) I couldn't decide and for $6 each there was no harm in buying two.

8 Months

Weight
19lbs 7oz

Length

Hair and Eyes
Hair - its getting thicker, with the exception of the patches above his ears lol. I think it's more dirty blonde at this point too.
Eyes- no changes they are blue :)

Clothing Size
Footed sleepers - 12 months
Shirts - long sleeve are 9 months but he still fits in 6m short sleeve
Pants - 9 months

Diapers
Size 3 still

Sleep
f***ing horrible.
Things started fine with MV sleeping in his bed waking twice maybe three times a night. Then for some reason still unknown he now wakes every 30-60 minutes screaming. To say I am exhausted is an understatement.

Eating
Some more new solids have been introduced, plums seem to be a favourite.
Breast feeding continues every 2-3 hours, MV is having some issues here and won't stay latched longer than 4 minutes.

New Developments
- MV learned how to roll across the room so this became his way of getting around for a week before he full out started crawling. Now he's into everything!
- MV went to his first pumpkin patch :)
- MV stayed with a sitter (hubby's aunt) twice this month. First was just 2 hours while I went for a pedicure but the second time was for 6 long hours. The longest 6 hours ever. I had a few anxiety attacks and apparently he wasn't the happiest either.
- tooth #5 poked through. Top left fang.
- he started waving at people. Sometimes he'll do it when we say to, other times it's just random.
- favourite things this month include staring out the windows, and playing in the dog's water bowel.
- personality is wild and crazy. He never stops, and is into everything. I foresee a cast or two in our future!when you catch him doing something or about to do something he's not supposed to he let's out the funniest sounding giggle.

Mama?

I heard it.
I swear on anything of any value I heard it.

I normally don't get too excited about any of the syllables MV has been practicing but just now I swear he said Mama. And not his usually ma sound he makes. Just straight up mama.

And he's knew it.
It's 5am I'm trying to coax him back to sleep and in the middle of changing his 10lb urine filled diaper he said "mama". I stopped everything and repeated it back to him and with a giant grin he said it again.
And then three more times!

Maybe I'm just dreaming? The kid just turned 8 months Friday (post to come today), he can't possible be saying mama this early.. Can he?
Thankfully he's falling back asleep now but I really just wanted to keep him awake and talking lol

Alright excitements over. I had to tell someone and here seemed best just in case I'm losing my mind I know you guys won't judge me ;)

On the move

So with all my slacking with blog posts I missed out on telling you MV is offically crawling!
Life has been.... busy lol

A couple days after he turned 7 months he realized he could roll everywhere so he did that for about a week. His crawling started around Thanksgiving, first it was a mix of crawling and bum scooting and after two or three days turned into crazy fast crawling.

I have barely sat down since.

Oh and we still don't have baby gates and have two sets of stairs off our main floor...

I also still need to do an offical baby proofing.

Our cats and dog are not the biggest fans of MV lately... it could have something to do with the fact he chases them around and jumps on them and/or pulls their fur :s

7 Months

The problem with taking pictures with my good camera and not my phone is I have to upload them onto the computer to see and use them... so not that I'm making excuses but this post is pretty late because of that ;)

On September 26th MV turned 7 Months!!

Weight
17.5 lbs

Length
28.5 inches

Hair and Eyes
Hair - it's getting thicker! Still fairly light, sometimes it looks a little strawberry blonde, other times its a more dirty blonde.
Eyes - Big and blue. Old ladies (and everyone else) love his eyes. lol

Clothing Size
onesies and shirts - if they are short sleeve then he can still fit in most 3-6 shirts
sleepers - 9 months
pants - 6-9 months, but the waists are too lose

Diapers
size 3 still :)
Oh and we finally had to buy diapers. 7 Months worth from a baby shower is pretty good :)

Sleep
Sleep... I wish I could say great things but really its hit and miss. Just when I think he's sleeping well something happens and its back to waking every 2 hours.
Sleeping arrangements have been changing, MV has been sleeping the first half of the night in his room in his crib. At around 2am when he wakes for his feeding he falls back asleep in our bed and stays there until morning.

Eating
Still breast feeding every 3 hours approximately. Foods are being introduced around every 5 days. He is not much for pureed foods so we've been doing a combo of purees and regular foods. So far he has eaten banana (which he may be allergic too), avocado, green beans, sweet potato, squash, and peaches. Peaches were a big hit mixed with his cereal.

New Developments
- 4 teeth this month!! two top and two bottom chompers! three of them all came in less than 7 days... that was... fun... torture.
- favourite toys include his taggie blanket, and our cell phones
- he finally rolled from front to back!
- he now reaches up with his arms when he wants to be held
- pulls up onto his knees, so we dropped the crib down to avoid any issues.
- finally after lots of encouragement will finally take a soother. this has made life soo much easier! when he does wake I just pop that soother in his mouth and he usually falls back asleep.
- loves being tickled, thighs are extra fun

Remembering our babies

Today, October 15th is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.

I sadly know a handful of people, myself included who have sadly lost a pregnancy and even a baby.

I still do not have the courage to post anything on Facebook; I am at a place now where I can talk about our loss with most, but majority of people still do not know.

I am so grateful everyday for MV, my precious rainbow baby.

For more info on this day see below and check out the webpage.

Thankful

Today we celebrated Thanksgiving, my favourite holiday of the year.
My belly is stuffed full of goodness; turkey, potatoes, stuffing, corn, beans, buns, and delicious pumpkin pie. I didn't even eat the squash or the beets, or apple pie.

MV tried turkey tonight, I think he liked it :) we have leftovers so he'll be having turkey all week.

It was a lovely day spent with family, and tonight I'm cozied up in bed fighting to keep my eyes open.

Before we ate we went around the table and said something we were thankful for; I'm thankful for so many things this year: my baby, my loving husband, Friends and family, my health and the health of everyone I care for.

And I'm thankful for my king sized cozy bed that I am cuddled in right now ;)

I will be back tomorrow to catch up on my reading and posts that I've been trying to get up.

Happy Thanksgiving friends <3

9 years and counting

9 years ago today I took a chance.
I had a few drinks for courage, put on my best bra and a low cut top, and knocked on his dorm room door.
I was a girl on a mission, my mission was to make him mine. I had never felt such a pull towards anyone else before. He drew me in like a magnet.
I don't know what came over me but that night I behaved in a way I never had before. I have no regrets.

We played it cool the first couple weeks. "no labels" we said, "no commitment" we agreed. I think we were both afraid of scaring the other off. After two weeks of being inseparable we finally admitted what our friends knew all along; we were a couple.

We fell in love fast and hard. Crazy I can't live without you kind of love. Over the years that love has grown, changed and become more mature, more real.

We've had a lot of good times, created amazing memories.
We grew together. Teenagers when we met, became adults together.
We fought. Passionately.
We stuck it out together during tough times, leaned on each other.

We are not the same people as when we met.
We have less in common now, but even with the differences our love has grown.

Two years ago today I married him.

So many things went wrong that day, but none of it mattered. That feeling I had the first time I saw him was back and stronger than ever.

It's hard work sometimes; our life isn't perfect. Sometimes it doesn't seem fair.
But I love him, and he loves me. Even when we may not deserve it, and especially when we need it the most.

This past seven months I've fallen in love with him all over again. A new love, as I've watched him become a father.

I wonder how many times you can fall in love with one person...