Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Don't Judge

I am furious. Not as pissed as I was 20 minutes ago but still pretty ticked.
I ran out quickly to grab a few things from the grocery store, it's cold out (of course) so I bundled up MV and away we went.
Now MV hates wearing hats, occasionally he will keep it on long enough to get to and from the car... Well today was not one of those days. As we were walking out of the store he ripped it off his head 3 times in less than a minute and I could tell his mood was about to change to full on tantrum so to save us the embarrassment I gave up (picking my battles) We were parked in the second spot from the door, maybe 30 feet at most. It's not snowing, or raining or even windy.
Well just as I was reaching the car I could hear some woman speaking in a very loud and rude tone. As I looked up I realized she was talking about us and before I could even think words came out of my mouth. Probably not the best words to say around an impressionable 11 month of learning to speak but I could not help myself. This woman was loudly questioning my parenting skills in front of a good handful of other shoppers all because my child was not wearing a hat.
I have never seen this happen to anyone before let alone happen to me. I probably didn't handle it well either but I was pissed. Pissed and hurt. I drove away practically hyperventilating and on the verge of tears I was so mad. She did not witness him tearing off his hat, or the tantrum he was about to throw in the store. She just looked at me, saw what she assumed was a young mother (I'm not that young I'm almost 30) and assumed I was some degenerate piece of trash, or at least that's the way her words made me feel.
Why would anyone do that? There are much nicer ways to point out a hat would be good, it was after all clearly in my hand... There is no need to openly insult me in public like that. Even better idea would be to keep your mouth shut.

Ok I'm getting mad again so I'm ending this. My point is don't judge people's parenting when all you has was a two minute glimpse if them. I know plenty of people who would not have spoke up and just burst into tears from her words.

4 comments:

KC said...

You are better than me, I have totally given up on hats and don't even take them with me anymore. We generally have the boys just dressed in a couple of layers (no jacket because I have read that it isn't safe to wear a jacket in the car seat) and a blanket. We move quickly from the car and I don't make eye contact with rude judgmental people. I am sorry you had someone yelling at you and they should mind their own businesss.By the way, as far as I know babies don't get sick from being cold it is from germs so people need to keep their opinions to themselves. I remember feeling judged in the summer when my boys kicked their socks off, even when it was 80+ degrees out. So annoying!!!

Britt said...

This makes me so sad because from what I can tell you are a GREAT mommy! Outsiders do not know anything about you or your family or your struggles and have no right to judge! What a pi$$ ant!!!! I mean, who does that?

Maria said...

Ohmygosh, I'm so sorry, V!! What in the hell is wrong with people?! People need to learn to mind their own business and stop assuming when they haven't a clue about others! You're a fabulous mother and MV is so loved!! I'm so sorry you had that encounter! My blood would be boiling too! What's up with people in grocery stores?! Tonight, I texted Steve from the store bc some woman literally ran her cart into me and didn't even say sorry...she made me knock over a couple boxes of croutons and just kept on her merry way. I told Steve I was going to murder her! :) I hope you don't ever have to deal with that kind of ignorance again! Lots of love xoxox
Maria

Unknown said...

People are so effin stupid!!!!!! It is never that cold here, the lowest it has been is 40ish degrees. Landon hates shoes and socks. I try to keep his socks on him at least. 3 days in a row, 3 different places, 3 different people had to point out that he didn't have socks on. Seriously?! So I tried to smile and politely say "well.....he won't keep them on. I try put he just snatches them off" When inside all I wanted to say was "look you (bleep), I had (bleeping) socks on him, but he won't (bleeping) leave them on. Not to mention we are (bleeping) inside so he really doesn't (bleeping) need them. And I would rather him not have (bleep) socks on if it keeps him from losing his (bleep)" ugggggggggggggh.....i hate how people act like they even have a right to say anything. I'm so sorry, V. I know how utterly frustrating and upsetting it is. But you are an awesome mom, and picking your battles is so important and the only way to stay sane as a mom.